Fuck Me! – Sex and Evolution

I feel it’s time for me to voice my opinions on one of my favourite topics of mental and physical interest; sex. Sex is a primal instinct we all possess. How do you think it came to be that you are sitting here reading this? Consider your very lineage; every member of your ancestral line did, on at least one occasion have sexual relations with a member of the opposite gender. I use the word least as an extreme. I would guarantee that every one of them would have been just as highly sexually driven as you or I. How can I be so certain? Because I’m human, just as they were, and sexual desire is at the very core of what constitutes the makeup of the human species. Moreover, we are in fact the only species, other than dolphins and the bonobo apparently, to pursue sexual gratification for the mere pleasure alone (or so it would seem). After all, Freud postulated that we are in essence ‘pleasure seeking organisms’, driven by the sole purpose to seek pleasure and avoid pain (as a means of survival). Why then, when in a culture so hung up and afraid of sex, did our relatives all copulate so damn much? Because we need to for god’s sake! Sex is the only (unassisted) way to continue the existence of the human species or more specifically to ensure the survival of our DNA.


There is too much negative emphasis put on sex in our western societies. The guilt and fear surrounding this issue has blown the whole thing out of proportion. I mean, it’s actually seen as a bad idea for a family to sit around and watch porn together, yet somehow it’s ok for us all to watch people blow each others heads off in the latest Michael Bay flick. I wish for a day when Mum and Dad, brother and sister, grand-dad and Aunt Jane can all comfortably sit together and enjoy the latest works of Ron Jeremy and Asia Carerra while polishing the family dildo and sharing fuck photos over the dinner table. Why not? What are we ashamed of? Sex is a beautiful and spiritual part of life. It should be openly shared by the whole family, not hidden away behind a wall of fear and shame. Why do you think so many girls lose their virginity to some drunken red-neck football player in the back seat of his Shaggin’ wagon after the school dance? Wouldn’t you rather young Jenny discovers her sexual self in the safety of her own bed where she can comfortably explore this new stage of her life?


These days the average age for losing virginity is around fifteen years and getting younger. The kids know it’s all shit and they’re fucking younger and younger anyway. The problem is they are going into the act with little or no understanding of the whole thing and are being forced to do it in secret, for fear of persecution from their parents and teachers… the very people who should be creating a safety zone of education and fun. Think of how much fun we all could have had if we had no inhibitions or fears of sex when we started. It takes years of private discovery, experimentation and often heart breaking mistakes to learn what the whole thing’s about anyway. How many mothers sit down with their daughters and teach them the finer points of giving a good blow job, or for that matter even teach the poor girl how to make best use of her clitoris? And how many guys out there have fond memories of when Dad showed them the best method for waxing his carrot or how much pressure to apply when fisting a girl for the first time? Not very many I bet.


One of the greatest lies I was ever told came from my teachers in primary school. In a vain attempt to teach us about the human body, we were shown a video about a poor guy who cums in his pants every time he sees a girl he likes in the school locker room. Scary enough, but this walking fire hose of love didn’t just dribble out a few drops of jizz in his jocks like you might expect in any regular wet-dream, no, he gushes forth with what looks like the result of a boy who was never quite toilet trained properly. Now here I was at the influential pre-pubescent age of about ten petrified that the next girl I look at would insight a tsunami in my pants that could take out a small Indonesian village. I lived with this fear for about six years until I finally came to the conclusion, through my own experiences that I had been bull-shitted by my educators. What sort of message do you think that sent to me about my peers? Not to mention the fact that I was petrified of even talking to girls for years… forget ever even hoping to get laid any time soon. Maybe that was the point… scare me into abstinence. Fuckers! I missed out on years of valuable, important and just plain fun sex because I was scared of what unknown horrors my body would produce in the proceedings. We do this to our children every time we tell them it’s wrong to touch their ‘private’ or ‘naughty’ bits, or when we freak out and yell at them after finding a condom in their room. Perhaps it’s time to put aside your own fears and start fresh with your kids. Don’t fuck them up just because you were.


And what about these ridiculous laws concerning ‘age of consent’? Why do we find it so wrong for anyone under sixteen to be sexually active? And god forbid a nineteen year old would ever dare have relations with a sixteen year old! That sort of activity could crash bring about Armageddon! We have already established that the average age the kids are getting into it is about fifteen anyway, so the law means shit to them. It’s only ‘adults’ that seem to be concerned about all this age crap. What’s really happening is that all the fears and misunderstandings of parents and leaders are being pushed onto the next generation, creating this endless cycle of guilt. But why? Well, the argument seems to be that children simply don’t understand what they are getting themselves into and therefore risk being mentally scarred by the realities of it all. But whose fault is that? Certainly not the kids. They are more than capable of understanding the intricacies and emotions of the sexual world… it’s just that nobody has taught them. We’re back to that cycle of fear and guilt I mentioned earlier. Basically it your fault for being too afraid to talk openly with your kids about it all. Look, sexuality should be a healthy part of a child’s vernacular from day one. And forget trying to generalize it by putting an age on this…. “When are they old enough to understand? Three years old, six, ten?” No… when your child starts asking questions about something, it means they are ready to deal with the answers. As much as he or she cares to find out anyway. They won’t give a shit if you don’t. Kids learn fear from their parents, so don’t hold back. Sit them down and show them a porno. “What? Outrageous!” I hear you say… but again, they are your fears that just spoke up, not the child’s. They will be fine, it’s you who needs to grow up.


Sex is a natural part of life… like eating or shitting, not to mention a beautiful, fun and spiritual activity. It can be a wonderful expression of love between people and is nature’s most reliable way of propagating the species. So what are we so afraid of? Why not try to open your mind a little wider on this issue and make a fresh start? It can all change with you.

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